Vices Of Man

Considering the insane amount of calculation and research that’d go into figuring out how many people in the world support it, I’m just gonna pick a number out of my ass and say 5,336,980,800 or so people will hate me indefinitely when I say…

I hate democracy.

There, I said it. For as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve never felt that I, or even the people, have ever had any significant influence in the so-called ‘democratic process’. Mind you, I’ve lived in three different countries in three completely different regions and cultures. To me, it’s always seemed to be that one event that comes around every four years, six to others, where we had to make a choice between the corrupt and the incompetent.

Every time this event comes around, we’re reminded that we still have ‘choice’, and I vote. Well, I used to. I think I’m one of the few people in this country, and in fact the world, that would ignore every single televised moment sponsored by politicians and every bit of political crap the media persistently tries to shovel down my throat.

I actually go to the websites of these political parties and their candidates and read up on what they’re all about. Well, again, I used to. I’d then finally find a party candidate that I liked, because I agreed with what he or she stood for. His or her main goals. What he or she intends to do once elected. After all, it’s the democratic thing to do, right? Pick the candidate that’ll best represent you and what you stand for.

Unfortunately, people seem to vote as well as they can drive. Probably a good indicator, I should try and remember that. No, people elect the wrong people for the wrong reasons. People either elect people who want to do good, but never do, or people who are up to no good and never miss out on a chance to infest the government with the political equivalent of the bubonic plague.

I needn’t mention the unmentionables like Bush and his entourage. I’m sure some of you are aware of how Hillary Clinton kicked her former lover, Mr Universal Health Care, in the nuts. Blair kicked his own party in the nuts from time to time. England is kicking its current PM in the nuts because he’s Scottish and Scotland is kicking him in the nuts for not being Scottish enough. Sarkozy is kicking in like Beckham with his superstar lifestyle and thus getting kicked in the nuts for not being presidential enough. Japan is going through its ministerial line-up like a fucking baseball team striking out all the damn time, so the rest of Asia is kicking Japan in the nuts while Japan is apologising and then retracting its apologies days later.

Where I’m going with this

 
With all the nut kicking going on in the developed world and all the oh-so-subtle pickpocketing going on in the developing world, you’d start to understand how one is getting weary of putting up with the corrupt and the inept elected by the corrupt and stupid. Intelligent people are but a mere minority, which probably explains why my candidates never seem to win. Maybe I’m not doing it right.

Thing is, I’ve always believed that the type of government has never had any significance on its own, as all forms of government allow one plague-infested rat inside the marble palace: corruption. Communism allows corruption. Democracy allows corruption. Monarchy allows corruption. Despotism allows corruption. No form is free from the vices of man, nor will any form ever be.

I’ve also believed that if you were to have an absolute monarchy devoid of political influence or power of the people, headed by a benevolent king, the people would have no reason to complain. If you always got everything you’ve ever wanted from your government, like health care and cheesecake, would you rebel or revolt just because you didn’t choose that leader?

The point

 
The one main factor of corruption in the world is money. Now, I’m not to say that I’m a left-wing nut who blames capitalism for the world’s misery, but you can’t exactly deny that money drives the world. Sometimes straight into a light post, but that’s beside the point.

Look at all the candidates in the last 50 years that have run for any office. Try and find any link between what they promise before being made leader and everything they’ve done while leading their nation. Now, try and find a link between what they’ve done in office and the people who have spons.. I mean, have contributed to their funds. Scary, huh? Makes me wonder if they represent their constituencies or their contributors.

Interestingly enough, the entities in the world that have the most influence in the world, aren’t democratic.. at all. If you’re employed, you work for a company where you don’t choose your boss, or his boss, or his (or hers). You don’t elect anyone. In fact, democracy seems to be implemented backwards in corporations. Upside-down in some cases. The leaders choose you.

And it works.

Companies decide what they want to do, pick the people to do it, and succeed. Much of the time.

The CEO or chairman is the benevolent king, sort of. The employees get all sorts of benefits like insurance, company cars, money.. and sometimes cheesecake. Every now and then you have revolts in the form of strikes, but that’s only because the king or his entourage is being an ass. The corrupt are purged, lest the company wants to suffer a fate much like that of the Enronian Empire. But it works. Democracy works.. in a topsy-turvy sort of way.

So yea, maybe I’ve been doing it wrong. At least I can now take comfort that half of humanity is doing it wrong too. My only concern now is how long the other half is going to continue doing it wrong. Considering the fact that we’ve been doing it wrong for a couple thousand years now, things aren’t exactly looking good.

_{//////////////////////////////////////////////////}

Bourgeois Du Jure

I love finding the little bits of irony in life, especially systems put in place that do quite the opposite of what they want to or should achieve, like police brutality or an abusive mother. Another example of this is political correctness.

People tell me that the objective of political correctness is to be able to communicate with others while minimising any chance of offending people. The irony I see in this is that the concept of political correctness is offensive in and of itself. This I can illustrate in a number of ways.

One: It’s hard to communicate when every time you speak, you sound like you’re reading from a damn scientific journal.

Two: The fact that you use politically correct terminology, offends the person you’re talking to because it completely destroys any informal setting, further distancing yourself from the person you’re addressing, thus breeding the animosity you were hoping so much to avoid.

Four: It is just fucking impractical.

Really. If I’m in a mall and a small dark man of a certain sexual orientation with a hearing problem and questionable fashion sense steals my wallet, I can guarantee you that I won’t be shouting “Someone please immobilise that hearing-impaired Afro-American homosexual in a female aeroplane crew member uniform! He, or she, if he prefers to be addressed as such, has wrongfully repossessed my faux-leather monetary container!”

If I don’t shout out “Stop the deaf black midget homo nut case in the stewardess costume!” I demand you strike me down with a baseball bat immediately. I’d rather offend a crowd of shoppers than look like a jackass with a ridiculously large vocabulary.

How people think that purifying, sanitising and polishing our existing language are means to an open and tolerant society is beyond me. The irony is that the savage underworld of society we call ‘teh internets’ seems to get it.

I can call someone an ‘AIDS-ridden donkey fucking whore’ and it’d fetch me quite a few ‘lolz’. Doing this in your local Starbucks will most likely get you a first class ticket on the Asskick Express.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that politicians and religious figures seem to be the only ones particularly concerned. I have yet to meet someone who isn’t heavily involved in either extracurricular activity that is wholeheartedly PC.

By the way, you might’ve noticed I skipped reason three. This would be that PC is completely pointless and unnecessary. To illustrate why, I’ll use the best example I can come up with: St Nicholas.

If you’re familiar with the Dutch holiday of Sinterklaas, you can see where I’m going with this. On the 5th of December St Nick on his pretty white horse goes around leaving gifts in all the homes for all the kids in a similar fashion to that of the abominable American fabrication of the Coca-Cola Company. Mind you, he does it with the help of his Zwarte Piet or Pieten, which literally translates to Black Peters.

Oh my. Black? Peters?

Why yes! Nicholas goes around with a bunch of black faced people in costumes more flamboyant than that of the Swiss Guard, handing out candy to little kids.

Racial undertone?

Well it seems that much of the Netherlands doesn’t seem to care. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone debate the ‘political correctness’ of it. If they have, it surely didn’t make front page in the media. Not even the Netherlands Antilles seems to mind that much, and the majority of people there are blacks. I guarantee you though, if this was done in the States, Jesse Jackson will be the first one up there with his panties in a twist crying “Racist!”

There are few people who do see the possible racial connotation in it, so they explain to kids that they’re just white people who got soot on their faces and hands when they were going through the chimneys to deliver the gifts. Sounds like a neatly gift-wrapped lie to me.

The truth is there really isn’t a racist thing about the holiday at all. Yes, the Black Petes are his slaves. No, they’re not African slaves, nor Spanish ones, despite their Moorish attire.

The legend comes from St Nicholas, the real one, who one day defeated a demon or devil, shackled him and made him his slave. Basically he goes around that day giving kids pockets full of diabetes with the help of the Beelz himself. In Austrian celebrations, they do portray him as a devil.

With everything bad having been called ‘dark’, i.e. the dark ages, it’s no wonder that the devil is portrayed as being black, the darkest of the dark. Try explaining that to the bourgeois du jure of America, I assure you they’d still label it racist.

In the Netherlands Antilles, kids look forward to this holiday as much as they do their own birthdays. As someone who was born and raised there, I can tell you there are some seriously ignorant retards in that country.

This one rich guy who built a colonial themed resort in Curaçao wanted to open a restaurant called the West Indian Company. I can see how this would fit perfectly with the rest of the resort, which is a very lovely one, might I add. I can also understand why it caused uproar among several black politicians there. After all, the WIC is the very same company that brought many of their ancestors from the African west coast. It’s fucking ridiculous because the restaurant in no way promotes slavery, but hey. I understand the concern.

I may hate political correctness, but in no way do I promote people acting like utter assholes. Words only have a value when used in context. I have no problem with a historian using the N-word when describing life in the 19th century. However, I do have a problem with a certain bounty hunter using it a couple of dozen times to describe his son’s girlfriend.

This is exactly the issue PC seems to overlook, though. As long as words aren’t used in a derogatory and insulting manner, I shouldn’t… no one should fear persecution for using those words. I know plenty of people who understand this. It’s called common sense. As long as you use common sense, there should, in theory, be no problem.

Despite it all, I fear that ‘common sense’ is nothing more than a misnomer, though, as day by day I get the impression that it’s hardly common at all.

_{//////////////////////////////////////////////////}